The Scream

I have this feeling: I just want to stand by the window and scream. but i cannot because my neighbors will think i went nuts. and this will give a spoiled image about my family. i don't know what i want to scream or who i want to direct my screams at, if i looked towards the east, there's this israeli colony/settlement "jabal taweel" which i can scream a bunch of curse words at, but will have more palestinian neighbors hear me or even come to my aid. if i look towards the west they're this israeli colony/ army base, which i can also scream a bunch of curse words at but the direction of the wind will block my screams from reaching them. If i looked south, there i can see Jerusalem, well, not practically, I can see deir Yassin tower, they call it something else, but to me it is this crazy tower-like statue that seems to commemorate the massacre. now i'm thinking if its even deir yassin or something else. i don't know how effective it will be screaming into that direction. then there's the north, i can probably scream at the muqata'a. maybe i should do that. I am invited to send my shoe to Israeli embassies around the world, but I just want to send mine to the muqata'a. to rest in peace next to the ka'aba-like mausoleum of Yasser Arafat